integrative paper!

Hye Young Ahn

Prof. Ribeiro

DCM

2011/01/25

In the beginning, God created the world and everything was good.  When sin entered the world, we became sinful and fallen creatures. God then sent His one and only son, so that we could be redeemed. If we only believed in Him, then we could be saved. This is the typical story that I had heard throughout my entire life at Sunday school, church youth group, school Bible studies, and mandatory chapels. Developing Christian Mind was like one of those school Bible classes that I had. Although it was just a class for me, I cannot deny the fact that I learned, and that a lot of the topics that we talked about in class made me think a lot.

Engaging God’s World was the book that we all had to read for this class. There were some interesting points in this book. Yet, it was just another book related to Christianity. I had been to Christian school for almost all my life and I had to read many similar books related to Christianity in all the Bible classes I had. Engaging God’s World was one of those books that I had to read for a class. I do admit though that reading this book along with the articles of C.S. Lewis and writing about them in our blogs was much more interesting than just reading the book.

Everyone desires something and longs for something. In most cases, people tend to long for earthly stuffs. We long for our own health, money, wealth, etc., because we are stupid. We don’t realize that what God offers us is so much better than what the world offers us. And as for me, I am one of the stupidest people ever. In one of the articles we read – The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis mentions that

 “Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are too easily pleased.”

I read this and I thought that I should not be like that ignorant child having fun in a slum when I could go have fun at the sea. I would say that every single day I should do my best to glorify the name of the Lord. I would say that I have to long for something good and shape my future based on what God wants me to do. Center all my hopes on Jesus Christ and let the Holy Spirit guide me. I would say that a lot, but my acts wouldn’t show that. Even after saying that, nothing changed in my life. I was still doing whatever I want, not what God wants. I was still longing for the earthly pleasures.

            I wondered why is it so hard for me to do what God wants me to do. Why is it so hard to do what is good for me? This then made me think that I was really a sinful creature. Sin has shadowed God's good creation. Sin has corrupted me and separated me from God. I would think that I should live longing for God and not for the earthly pleasures. However, it is so hard for me to even live one day doing only what God wants me to do because I am a fallen creature. I would say that I am a Christian and go to church, but many times I would realize that I was not growing spiritually. I was like that Patient of the Screwtape Letters in Letter XII. “As long as he retains externally the habits of a Chrisitan he can still be made to think of himself as one who has adopted a few new friends and amusements but whose spiritual state is much the same as it was six weeks ago.”

            I would see my sinful self, and realize that I do really need a Savior. Then, I would remember that Jesus Christ had come to give His life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45). “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16. I would remember this verse and feel better. I knew that I still had hope. I would then think that I should just rely on God who is good and holy instead of wondering around the sinful world as I was doing before. I knew that “the idea of reaching ‘a good life’ without Christ is based on a double error. Firstly, we cannot do it; and secondly, in setting up ‘a good life’ as our final goal, we have missed the very point of our existence” (Lewis – Man or Rabbit?). I knew it.
            I am a Christian. I know that I am a fallen creature of sinful nature and that believing in God is the only way to Heaven. I should then live as a Christian, die and rise with Christ, and everything I do in my life I should do it for Him. I should stop longing for earthly pleasures, because there is something so much better than that waiting for me way beyond what is known. I had always thought that I belonged in this world – the sinful world. “Now we wake to find that it is no such thing. We have been mere spectators… Glory, as Christianity, teaches me to hope for it, turns out to satisfy my original desire…” I learned that the “following Him is, of course, the essential point” (Lewis – Weight of Glory).

            According to Plantinga, we are called to be followers of Jesus and we have to serve for His kingdom. That is our main vocation. Yet, we cannot do this on our own. We have to lean on God’s grace and let it hold us up. I know all this. Yet, the hardest part of all is the part where you have to show what you believe in your own behavior and life. Saying it… Anyone can do it. But actually doing it and showing it in your life… Just the bravest of all can do it.
            I am not so brave, but I can at least try. I am a student at Calvin College right now. While many of my friends have already planned out how they are going to live the next ten years at least, I don't even know what I'm going to be doing this summer. I don’t know what I am going to major in. I don’t even know if I am going to be alive tomorrow. There is not much that I know. All I know is that I am a student right now and I should do my best on whatever I am doing. I was taught that whatever I do, do it all for the glory of God. Study, sleep, eat, and talk. Do it all for Him. I cannot assure anyone that I will actually do everything for the glory of God. If I say so, I will be lying because I know that it is possible for me to fail on doing this due to my sinful nature. I agree with what Lewis says on his article of Learning in War Time. “The life which we, at any rate, can best lead to the glory of God at present is the learned life” I think then I should live a life of learning and at least try to remember everywhere I go that I am a Christian. Just by remembering it, I could at least make a little change in this world.
            In the book Engaging God’s World, there was a quote from Thomas Merton that I thought it was really interesting. The quote goes like this: “For the sinful self is not my real self, it is not the self You have wanted for me, only the self that I have wanted for myself. And I no longer want this false self. But now Father, I come to You in your Own Son's self... and it is He Who presents me to You.” I don’t think I will be able to say this right now, but I really hope that there will be some day that I could say that and actually mean it.

            Through this class, I learned again that God created the world; that we are sinful creatures; and that we can be saved by believing in Jesus Christ. It is the same thing I have always learned at church and school. Yet, it means a lot for me.

Works Consulted

C.S. Lewis and articles we read in class.

Plantinga, Cornelius. Engaging God's World: a Reformed Vision of Faith, Learning, and Living. Grand Rapids, MI: W.B. Eerdmans, 2002. Print.

Human Pain

Pain is inherent. It has been everywhere and it has existed since the longest time ever. C.S. Lewis mentions that "the proper good of a creature is to surrender itself to its Creator." Self-surrender is our cure from our sinful nature. This could be painful because it is an act of rendering back the will which we have so long claimed for our own. According to C.S. Lewis, pain shatters the illusion that all is well. Pain is evil, and when pain takes place, it is obvious that something is wrong because it hurts. Pain also "shatters the illusion that what we have, whether good or bad in itself, is our own and enough for us." When pain takes place, we realize that whenever we thought that we had all we want we were wrong. We thought we had everything that could make us happy, but we had not included God in that 'all.' We then realize that God is the source of true happiness. Pain shatters our self-sufficiency. Yet, the good news is that "He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him, and come to Him because there is 'nothing better' now to be had." A good Christian (let's say) choose to do whatever to please God. The good Christian will choose to follow God's will. After all, we never really know when we are actually doing God's will unless pain is involved. Pain is involved when God's will is the opposite of what we wanted to do. "The full acting out of the self's surrender to God therefore demands pain." C.S. Lewis then concludes saying that we have to obey God's will because God commands certain things because they are all right. Even though it might hurt at the time, later on we will realize that it was all for our own good.

As for me, I have mentioned in previous posts that I should live for Him and do everything for His glory.  I have said it many times, but deep inside of me knew that I haven't lived that way. I had said that Christians tend to be hypocrites, but now I was being the hypocrite. Many times I forgot that I had said this and lived the way I want to live. I was scarred. I thought that if I want to live that way I would have to sacrifice part of my good and comfortable life and losing that will hurt.

Vocation in the Kingdom of God by Plantinga

In this chapter of Engaging God's World, Plantinga talks about vocation and how are we going to live our life. As Christians, we are to live hoping for the kingdom of God. "Successful living depends especially on fitting our small kingdom inside God's big kingdom, always recalling where we got our dominion in the first place. Each of us is king or queen over a little. God's kingdom is 'over all'." We have to live our life, the small kingdom, to fit into God's big kingdom, which is the universe. Working in the kingdom of God and living for it. This should be our way of life, but now the question is are you going to be just a good citizen in the kingdom of God or a prime citizen in the kingdom of God. All of us are people with callings. We are called to followers of Jesus and we have to serve for His kingdom. That is our main vocation. After all, we have to remember that we cannot do this on our own. We have to lean into God's grace and let it hold us up. Through knowledge, skills, and virtues, we are to find what we really want to be so that we will serve Him the best. Even "education is for service in the kingdom."
In my case, I grew up in a Christian family. I learned that the best thing you could ever do with your life is to live life for God. Living life for God is not easy at all. I say that I should live life for God, but there are still many times that I forget and want to live my way doing whatever I want. Going to church every Sunday, going to Christian school, and being surrounded by tons of Christians doesn't mean that I am actually a good Christian and that I am living life for God. I haven't decided my major yet. I don't really know what I am going to do with my life. Many of my friends have already planned out how they are going to live the next ten years at least. I don't even know what I'm going to be doing this summer. I was always taught that for everything I do I should glorify His name. I think that is the hardest thing one could ever do in this world. Yet, it is possible. And right now I'll say that we are all called to do that. Study, sleep, eat, talk,,,, Do all that for Him. I might not know what I'll major in or what my job will be or what I'll be doing in the next ten years, but at least I'll get an idea of what direction I should be going.

Man or Rabbit

The question that C.S. Lewis is trying to answer in this article is whether or not you can live a good life without believing in Christianity. One of the parts that really caught my attention in this essay is the part where Lewis describes the part that the Christians and the world hold different views of what is good and what is bad. If there is ever a right or wrong answer to what is good, then one of the two views will be wrong. Yet, both of them will think that they are right and try to convince other people to believe what they believe. "Consequently,with the best will in the world, he will be helping his fellow creatures to their destruction." Then Lewis goes on explaining that God will not punish those who with their best will had made an honest mistake. However, those who ask the question 'Can't I lead a good life without believing in Christianity?' are those who had already deeply thought about the question and are a little convinced about the existence of God. "The man who asks this question has heard of Christianity and is by no means certain that it may not be true... To such a man it might be enough to reply that he is really asking to be allowed to get on with being 'good' before he has done his best to discover what good means." So what is it to be good? Can we even be good? The answer is no. C.S. Lewis says that we can't be good on our own moral efforts. And even if we could be good, we will later realize that being good is not what we really want to achieve through our life. "Morality is indispensable: but the Divine Life, which gives itself to us and which calls us to be gods, intends for us something in which morality will be swallowed up. We are to be re-made. All the rabbit in us is to disappear - the worried, conscientious, ethical rabbit as well as the cowardly and sensual rabbit. We shall bleed and squeal as the handfuls of fur come out; and then, surprisingly, we shall find underneath it all a thing we have never yet imagined; a real Man, an ageless god, a son of God, strong, radiant, wise, beautiful, and drenched in joy."
It is really hard to define what good and bad is. Yet, one thing I know is that I cannot be good by myself because I am a sinful creature. The bad side of me was already born with me. All I can do is to rely on God, because God is good.

The Inner Ring

Wherever you go, there would always be groups of people. Let's see Calvin as an example. There are the Christian Reformed and the ones that are not Christian Reformed. There are the Michigan people and the ones that come from other states. There are then the Americans and the International Students. Then among that group of International Students there are many other groups based on their ethnicity. This is what C.S. Lewis called the Inner Ring. You discovered an Inner Ring, a group you want to belong. And when you get close enough to be part of that Inner Ring, you discover that there were other Inner Rings that you didn't know. "Within the ring, there was a Ring yet more inner." This process keeps going and going as if you are peeling layers and layers of onion. Everyone has a desire to be inside an Inner Ring because they are scarred to be left outside. Interestingly, C.S. Lewis mentioned that the existence of an Inner Ring is necessary although in some cases it can be dangerous. "A thing may be morally neutral and yet the desire for that thing may be dangerous." When one chooses the wrong Inner Rings, then one can turn into a scoundrel. We talked about gang members as an example of this. Some kids don't really know what it is to be in a gang, which in this case is the Inner Ring. They just want to be friends with those in the gang, so they joined the gang. However, the consequences are that they have to do bad things as stealing and hurting people although they might not really want to until they eventually turn into a scoundrel. Another danger is that you might have a strong desire to be in that Inner Ring but you don't really know what is it to be in that ring. "If all you want is to be in the know, your pleasure will be short lived."
"Poor man - it is not large, lighted rooms, or champagne, or even scandals about peers and Cabinet Ministers that he wants: it is the sacred little attic or studio, the heads bent together, the fog of tobacco smoke, and the delicious knowledge that we - we four or five all huddled beside this stove - are the people who know." Just like this poor man, we have to know what is it that we really want and be aware of the dangers of the Inner Ring.

Eros from The Four Loves

According to C.S. Lewis, Eros is the love between two opposite sexes - love between male and female. Eros wants the Beloved not the pleasure you get from sex, which in this case is referred to as Venus. It says that the one in love have no time to think about sex, because he is too busy thinking of the person. "The fact that she is a woman is far less important than the fact that she is herself." Then C.S. Lewis goes on explaining how should we view Venus between two people in love. Venus can happen within Eros, but  Eros is in its noblest and purest state if Venus is reduced to the minimum. Another interesting thing that C.S. Lewis mentioned was that "In Eros at times we seem to be flying; Venus gives us the sudden twitch that reminds us we are really captive balloons." He then moves on to the danger of Eros. The danger is not that the lovers will idolize themselves but it is that the lovers will idolize Eros, the love. Let's take the example of Romeo and Juliet. These two lovers fell in love and they do anything to be together. They idolized Eros and see what happens at the end.. They both die. And what could they say about it. "Love made us do it." These two lovers had loved Eros more than anything else - more than God. Lovers are not supposed to neither idolize each other nor idolize Eros. "To be in love is both to intend and to promise lifelong fidelity. Love makes vows unasked.... it has overleaped the massive wall of our selfhood." Once after marriage, the husband is then to love his wife as if Christ loved the Church and give his life for her. This doesn't mean that the husband is greater than the wife. "Marriage is most like a crucifixion; whose wife receives most and gives least... For the Church has no beauty but what the Bridegroom gives her; he does not find, but makes her, lovely."

Learning in War Time

"Human culture has always had to exist under the shadow of something infinitely more important than itself. If men had postponed the search for knowledge and beauty until they were secure the search would never have begun... Life has never been normal. Even those periods which we think most tranquil, like the nineteenth century, turn out, on closer inspection, to be full of cries, alarms, difficulties, emergencies." 

- C.S. Lewis

The world we are living is full of cries, alarms, difficulties, and emergencies. How should we then live in that world as Christians? In this article, C.S. Lewis not only explains the importance of learning and studying but also explains how should we live as Christians. As C.S. Lewis mentioned in one of the essays before, we cannot just say that we are Christians. We have to show by what we do that we are Christians. We have to act. In our cases, we have to study hard and learn because we are students and because 'the life which we, at any rate, can best lead to the glory of God at present is the learned life.' Learning is our duty right now. Excitement, frustration, and fear might be there to prevent us from actually doing what we have to. You might get excited and forget your real purpose of learning. Don't get distracted by anything else. No matter what, keep doing what you were doing. 'The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavorable.' At times, you might also get frustrated because it takes time and effort. Although it might seem as it will never end, you just have to do your best at the present and leave the future to God. You might get fearful because pain and even death might be involved in what you are doing. However, if you think that by death you will get to be with God then you won't be too scarred of death or pain because you know that something better than anything in this world is there beyond death. And at last, no matter what you do, do it all for the glory of God.