integrative paper!

Hye Young Ahn

Prof. Ribeiro

DCM

2011/01/25

In the beginning, God created the world and everything was good.  When sin entered the world, we became sinful and fallen creatures. God then sent His one and only son, so that we could be redeemed. If we only believed in Him, then we could be saved. This is the typical story that I had heard throughout my entire life at Sunday school, church youth group, school Bible studies, and mandatory chapels. Developing Christian Mind was like one of those school Bible classes that I had. Although it was just a class for me, I cannot deny the fact that I learned, and that a lot of the topics that we talked about in class made me think a lot.

Engaging God’s World was the book that we all had to read for this class. There were some interesting points in this book. Yet, it was just another book related to Christianity. I had been to Christian school for almost all my life and I had to read many similar books related to Christianity in all the Bible classes I had. Engaging God’s World was one of those books that I had to read for a class. I do admit though that reading this book along with the articles of C.S. Lewis and writing about them in our blogs was much more interesting than just reading the book.

Everyone desires something and longs for something. In most cases, people tend to long for earthly stuffs. We long for our own health, money, wealth, etc., because we are stupid. We don’t realize that what God offers us is so much better than what the world offers us. And as for me, I am one of the stupidest people ever. In one of the articles we read – The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis mentions that

 “Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are too easily pleased.”

I read this and I thought that I should not be like that ignorant child having fun in a slum when I could go have fun at the sea. I would say that every single day I should do my best to glorify the name of the Lord. I would say that I have to long for something good and shape my future based on what God wants me to do. Center all my hopes on Jesus Christ and let the Holy Spirit guide me. I would say that a lot, but my acts wouldn’t show that. Even after saying that, nothing changed in my life. I was still doing whatever I want, not what God wants. I was still longing for the earthly pleasures.

            I wondered why is it so hard for me to do what God wants me to do. Why is it so hard to do what is good for me? This then made me think that I was really a sinful creature. Sin has shadowed God's good creation. Sin has corrupted me and separated me from God. I would think that I should live longing for God and not for the earthly pleasures. However, it is so hard for me to even live one day doing only what God wants me to do because I am a fallen creature. I would say that I am a Christian and go to church, but many times I would realize that I was not growing spiritually. I was like that Patient of the Screwtape Letters in Letter XII. “As long as he retains externally the habits of a Chrisitan he can still be made to think of himself as one who has adopted a few new friends and amusements but whose spiritual state is much the same as it was six weeks ago.”

            I would see my sinful self, and realize that I do really need a Savior. Then, I would remember that Jesus Christ had come to give His life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45). “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16. I would remember this verse and feel better. I knew that I still had hope. I would then think that I should just rely on God who is good and holy instead of wondering around the sinful world as I was doing before. I knew that “the idea of reaching ‘a good life’ without Christ is based on a double error. Firstly, we cannot do it; and secondly, in setting up ‘a good life’ as our final goal, we have missed the very point of our existence” (Lewis – Man or Rabbit?). I knew it.
            I am a Christian. I know that I am a fallen creature of sinful nature and that believing in God is the only way to Heaven. I should then live as a Christian, die and rise with Christ, and everything I do in my life I should do it for Him. I should stop longing for earthly pleasures, because there is something so much better than that waiting for me way beyond what is known. I had always thought that I belonged in this world – the sinful world. “Now we wake to find that it is no such thing. We have been mere spectators… Glory, as Christianity, teaches me to hope for it, turns out to satisfy my original desire…” I learned that the “following Him is, of course, the essential point” (Lewis – Weight of Glory).

            According to Plantinga, we are called to be followers of Jesus and we have to serve for His kingdom. That is our main vocation. Yet, we cannot do this on our own. We have to lean on God’s grace and let it hold us up. I know all this. Yet, the hardest part of all is the part where you have to show what you believe in your own behavior and life. Saying it… Anyone can do it. But actually doing it and showing it in your life… Just the bravest of all can do it.
            I am not so brave, but I can at least try. I am a student at Calvin College right now. While many of my friends have already planned out how they are going to live the next ten years at least, I don't even know what I'm going to be doing this summer. I don’t know what I am going to major in. I don’t even know if I am going to be alive tomorrow. There is not much that I know. All I know is that I am a student right now and I should do my best on whatever I am doing. I was taught that whatever I do, do it all for the glory of God. Study, sleep, eat, and talk. Do it all for Him. I cannot assure anyone that I will actually do everything for the glory of God. If I say so, I will be lying because I know that it is possible for me to fail on doing this due to my sinful nature. I agree with what Lewis says on his article of Learning in War Time. “The life which we, at any rate, can best lead to the glory of God at present is the learned life” I think then I should live a life of learning and at least try to remember everywhere I go that I am a Christian. Just by remembering it, I could at least make a little change in this world.
            In the book Engaging God’s World, there was a quote from Thomas Merton that I thought it was really interesting. The quote goes like this: “For the sinful self is not my real self, it is not the self You have wanted for me, only the self that I have wanted for myself. And I no longer want this false self. But now Father, I come to You in your Own Son's self... and it is He Who presents me to You.” I don’t think I will be able to say this right now, but I really hope that there will be some day that I could say that and actually mean it.

            Through this class, I learned again that God created the world; that we are sinful creatures; and that we can be saved by believing in Jesus Christ. It is the same thing I have always learned at church and school. Yet, it means a lot for me.

Works Consulted

C.S. Lewis and articles we read in class.

Plantinga, Cornelius. Engaging God's World: a Reformed Vision of Faith, Learning, and Living. Grand Rapids, MI: W.B. Eerdmans, 2002. Print.