Pain is inherent. It has been everywhere and it has existed since the longest time ever. C.S. Lewis mentions that "the proper good of a creature is to surrender itself to its Creator." Self-surrender is our cure from our sinful nature. This could be painful because it is an act of rendering back the will which we have so long claimed for our own. According to C.S. Lewis, pain shatters the illusion that all is well. Pain is evil, and when pain takes place, it is obvious that something is wrong because it hurts. Pain also "shatters the illusion that what we have, whether good or bad in itself, is our own and enough for us." When pain takes place, we realize that whenever we thought that we had all we want we were wrong. We thought we had everything that could make us happy, but we had not included God in that 'all.' We then realize that God is the source of true happiness. Pain shatters our self-sufficiency. Yet, the good news is that "He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him, and come to Him because there is 'nothing better' now to be had." A good Christian (let's say) choose to do whatever to please God. The good Christian will choose to follow God's will. After all, we never really know when we are actually doing God's will unless pain is involved. Pain is involved when God's will is the opposite of what we wanted to do. "The full acting out of the self's surrender to God therefore demands pain." C.S. Lewis then concludes saying that we have to obey God's will because God commands certain things because they are all right. Even though it might hurt at the time, later on we will realize that it was all for our own good.
As for me, I have mentioned in previous posts that I should live for Him and do everything for His glory. I have said it many times, but deep inside of me knew that I haven't lived that way. I had said that Christians tend to be hypocrites, but now I was being the hypocrite. Many times I forgot that I had said this and lived the way I want to live. I was scarred. I thought that if I want to live that way I would have to sacrifice part of my good and comfortable life and losing that will hurt.
I appreciate your honesty, Hye. But please know, I think we all feel the same way. We say we'll live for God. And we don't. We say we will try harder, but we forget. The good news is that God doesn't love us any less. Though it's painful to give up what we want, it is, like you say, for our own good.
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